Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Keeping the Thanks in Thanksgiving
What memories do you want your children to take with them as they grow up? When they think of the holidays, what do you hope they recall?
I know what I don"t want them to remember: a mother so stressed out about the "production" that no one is having fun. Holidays are the best when I find that balance that creates something special that connects me with my family here and now, and at the same time connects me to my past and to the future where my children have the memories of what we do today. That feeling of connection is is the magical part of this season for me.
So I have to let go of a lot of stuff. Yes, the house needs to be cleaner than normal when Nana comes, but it won't be perfect. There will be dust bunnies, and the hallway will not be painted. The kids rooms will be partial disasters, but the bathrooms will be clean, the floors will be mopped, and the kitchen will sparkle. And guess what, Nana won't really care!
I have to set a budget, and I have to stay within it. Money is tight, and if I pretend it isn't then the stress of overspending will make me resent the holiday, not embrace it. I need to focus on what I CAN do and not dwell on the gifts or things I can't have as part of our holiday. I won't focus on the I Phone my daughter wants but will not get, rather I need to focus on having fun shopping for the stuff she is going to get.
I am "doing" Thanksgiving dinner at our house, only for ten, but it is the first time it is more than just the four of us. We typically go to Nana or Grandma's house. My Thanksgiving will be good, we will have fun together. It will not be perfect. I work full time. I need some shortcuts to make it happen. So while the pie crusts will not be homemade, my daughter will be thrilled that the mashed potatoes will be. The table will be pretty, but not worthy of a magazine. And as I type this I remind myself that I have little memory of what table settings my mom used, just that we used the nice glasses, and the turkey looked awesome. My kids will not care that our tablecloth is inexpensive, and that the centerpiece is not a work of art. They will see family sitting together, and turkey, and feel love and a sense of connection. We will laugh about who carves the turkey, and debate the merits of candied yams vs mashed potatoes. These are the memories I hope they will carry with them.
It will be good, and it will be best if I am relaxed and enjoying it with everyone, not worrying about how things don't live up to some artificial ideal in my head created from a Norman Rockwell painting or a Martha Stewart magazine.
So I wish you and your families a warm, stress free holiday season full of happy memories of the past, and hopes for the future. Happy Thanksgiving!
I know what I don"t want them to remember: a mother so stressed out about the "production" that no one is having fun. Holidays are the best when I find that balance that creates something special that connects me with my family here and now, and at the same time connects me to my past and to the future where my children have the memories of what we do today. That feeling of connection is is the magical part of this season for me.
So I have to let go of a lot of stuff. Yes, the house needs to be cleaner than normal when Nana comes, but it won't be perfect. There will be dust bunnies, and the hallway will not be painted. The kids rooms will be partial disasters, but the bathrooms will be clean, the floors will be mopped, and the kitchen will sparkle. And guess what, Nana won't really care!
I have to set a budget, and I have to stay within it. Money is tight, and if I pretend it isn't then the stress of overspending will make me resent the holiday, not embrace it. I need to focus on what I CAN do and not dwell on the gifts or things I can't have as part of our holiday. I won't focus on the I Phone my daughter wants but will not get, rather I need to focus on having fun shopping for the stuff she is going to get.
I am "doing" Thanksgiving dinner at our house, only for ten, but it is the first time it is more than just the four of us. We typically go to Nana or Grandma's house. My Thanksgiving will be good, we will have fun together. It will not be perfect. I work full time. I need some shortcuts to make it happen. So while the pie crusts will not be homemade, my daughter will be thrilled that the mashed potatoes will be. The table will be pretty, but not worthy of a magazine. And as I type this I remind myself that I have little memory of what table settings my mom used, just that we used the nice glasses, and the turkey looked awesome. My kids will not care that our tablecloth is inexpensive, and that the centerpiece is not a work of art. They will see family sitting together, and turkey, and feel love and a sense of connection. We will laugh about who carves the turkey, and debate the merits of candied yams vs mashed potatoes. These are the memories I hope they will carry with them.
It will be good, and it will be best if I am relaxed and enjoying it with everyone, not worrying about how things don't live up to some artificial ideal in my head created from a Norman Rockwell painting or a Martha Stewart magazine.
So I wish you and your families a warm, stress free holiday season full of happy memories of the past, and hopes for the future. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Suicide Prevention: We all can play a role
Both the Towns of Granby and East Granby are proud to announce that they now have a certified QPR instructor on staff. Question, Pursuade, Refer is a research based, nationally recognized suicide prevention program suitable for older teens and adults. In a brief hour long session, you learn what to look for and how to respond to someone who may be considereing suicide.
It is an uncomfortable topic, one we may avoid asking about. Asking someone if they are suicidal means we need to do shomething if they are, and many of us feel unqualified to handle this kind of situation. QPR gives you the skills you need to ask the right questions and get the person the help they need.
Sucicde is preventable, and the more members of our community who are prepared to respond to the warning signs of depression and suicide, the better we can rotect our friends, families and neigbors from a deadly decision.
If youor anyone you know are interested in taking this free one hour training class, please call AneMare Cax at (8600 844-5355 to schedule a training session. Small group or larger, here at the YSB or at your office or home, this program is worth your time. You could help save a life.
It is an uncomfortable topic, one we may avoid asking about. Asking someone if they are suicidal means we need to do shomething if they are, and many of us feel unqualified to handle this kind of situation. QPR gives you the skills you need to ask the right questions and get the person the help they need.
Sucicde is preventable, and the more members of our community who are prepared to respond to the warning signs of depression and suicide, the better we can rotect our friends, families and neigbors from a deadly decision.
If youor anyone you know are interested in taking this free one hour training class, please call AneMare Cax at (8600 844-5355 to schedule a training session. Small group or larger, here at the YSB or at your office or home, this program is worth your time. You could help save a life.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Creating a community voice for prevention.
One of the reasons I moved from my work in a school based clinical day treatment program to the Town of Granby Youth Service Bureau was my desire to shift from intervention to prevention. Watching kid after kid struggle with anxiety, depression and substance abuse was frustrating and sad. I remember thinking if I could help just one kid NOT start using, NOT become so depressed he or she harmed themselves, NOT be so anxious that attending school was an un-winnable battle, then I would truly have accomplished something profoundly worthwhile.
As the coordinator, and a counselor with the Youth Service Bureau, prevention is a big part of what I do. I firmly believe that community based prevention is the key to raising children able to make healthy decisions and reduce the risky behaviors they engage in. That said, community prevention is no walk in the park!
There is really good information out there, research based intervention strategies that have documented effectiveness, and they do not require a rocket scientist to implement. What they do require is a community interested in hearing them, and incorporating the ideas and philosophies into a community wide voice that clearly lets our youth know that they are valued, supported, and that risky behaviors such as under age drinking, drinking and driving, risky sexual behavior and smoking marijuana or experimenting with other drugs is dangerous and unacceptable.
In our community (as in many, if not most communities) reaching parents with the information they need to be effective contributors in a community wide prevention effort often feels like an uphill battle. As in other towns, when we host a parent night, or an educational forum on a prevention topic ( be it drug use, suicide prevention or concussion prevention) we typically get anywhere from 10 to 20 parent attendees. Those parents almost always leave feeling they have learned important information.
Our challenge then is to figure out how to move the message beyond these 15 or 20 families and reach the thousand or so other families we are missing time and time again. No one has time for another meeting, another workshop, another anything, and prevention education just does not resonate with families as something they need to concern themselves with right now. The excuse may be my children are still too young, or my kids are doing fine, or they have good friends and I don't have to worry.
Well, we need to consider some facts here. Your children are too young? Maybe, but the average age of first use in Connecticut is age 12. This means that the discussion needs to start while our kids are in elementary school. Your kids are doing fine? Fantastic! Let's work together to keep it that way. Your kid has good friends? Also fantastic, but lets face facts, in a community where almost 50% of high school seniors say they have smoked pot or consumed alcohol in the recent past, a whole lot of good kids are engaging in some high risk behaviors.
As parents we need to prioritize prevention. Knowing the facts will help you guide your child to making safer decisions as a teenager, and if you are lucky enough to raise a teen who never makes a risky choice, I can almost guarantee you that he or she will have a friend who will make a mistake. The information and limits you impart to your child is may well help another child reduce the risks they take.
So please, the next time you hear that a prevention program is being offered in town, make the time to check it out. Coming to a program on preventing drug use in no way implies that you are worried that your child has a problem. To the contrary, it means that you are doing everything in your power to prevent a problem from developing. Please become a part of Granby's voice as we work to protect our youth from the very real dangers of underage substance use.
If you have any suggestions for topics of concern that you would like more information on, or ideas for bringing more parents to the programs we hold, please let me know!
As the coordinator, and a counselor with the Youth Service Bureau, prevention is a big part of what I do. I firmly believe that community based prevention is the key to raising children able to make healthy decisions and reduce the risky behaviors they engage in. That said, community prevention is no walk in the park!
There is really good information out there, research based intervention strategies that have documented effectiveness, and they do not require a rocket scientist to implement. What they do require is a community interested in hearing them, and incorporating the ideas and philosophies into a community wide voice that clearly lets our youth know that they are valued, supported, and that risky behaviors such as under age drinking, drinking and driving, risky sexual behavior and smoking marijuana or experimenting with other drugs is dangerous and unacceptable.
In our community (as in many, if not most communities) reaching parents with the information they need to be effective contributors in a community wide prevention effort often feels like an uphill battle. As in other towns, when we host a parent night, or an educational forum on a prevention topic ( be it drug use, suicide prevention or concussion prevention) we typically get anywhere from 10 to 20 parent attendees. Those parents almost always leave feeling they have learned important information.
Our challenge then is to figure out how to move the message beyond these 15 or 20 families and reach the thousand or so other families we are missing time and time again. No one has time for another meeting, another workshop, another anything, and prevention education just does not resonate with families as something they need to concern themselves with right now. The excuse may be my children are still too young, or my kids are doing fine, or they have good friends and I don't have to worry.
Well, we need to consider some facts here. Your children are too young? Maybe, but the average age of first use in Connecticut is age 12. This means that the discussion needs to start while our kids are in elementary school. Your kids are doing fine? Fantastic! Let's work together to keep it that way. Your kid has good friends? Also fantastic, but lets face facts, in a community where almost 50% of high school seniors say they have smoked pot or consumed alcohol in the recent past, a whole lot of good kids are engaging in some high risk behaviors.
As parents we need to prioritize prevention. Knowing the facts will help you guide your child to making safer decisions as a teenager, and if you are lucky enough to raise a teen who never makes a risky choice, I can almost guarantee you that he or she will have a friend who will make a mistake. The information and limits you impart to your child is may well help another child reduce the risks they take.
So please, the next time you hear that a prevention program is being offered in town, make the time to check it out. Coming to a program on preventing drug use in no way implies that you are worried that your child has a problem. To the contrary, it means that you are doing everything in your power to prevent a problem from developing. Please become a part of Granby's voice as we work to protect our youth from the very real dangers of underage substance use.
If you have any suggestions for topics of concern that you would like more information on, or ideas for bringing more parents to the programs we hold, please let me know!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Protecting the Developing Brain
Last night's program, Protecting the Developing Brain was attended by 25 community members. The concussion presentation by Deb Shulanski of the Brain Injury Alliance of Connecticut started off the night. Rebecca McEwen from GMHS reviewed RTP practices and concussion screeing. Dr Kaminer from UCONN Medical wrapped things up with lots of information on the developing brain and the risks posed by underage use of drugs including marijuana. A big thank you to our presenters as well as to everyone who attended!
Friday, September 13, 2013
Connecting Car Seats and Marijuana
Click on the link below to read the latest on the Granby Patch connecting car seats and marijuana!
http://granby-eastgranby.patch.com/groups/annemarie-heller-coxs-blog/p/connecting-car-seats-and-marijuana?a_dgi=aolshare_facebook
http://granby-eastgranby.patch.com/groups/annemarie-heller-coxs-blog/p/connecting-car-seats-and-marijuana?a_dgi=aolshare_facebook
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Protecting Your Child's Brain
On Tuesday October 15th from 7 to 9 PM we will be hosting a presentation for parents highlighting what we need to know about the developing brain, concussions, and also the increased risk of injury due to underage substance use. Join us to learn the signs symptoms and treatments for concussions Find out what IMPACT screening does and does not do. Learn what the latest brain imaging research tells us about the damage and risk associated with underage drinking and marijuana use, and what you need to know to help your child make healthy choices.
Guest speakers include Deb Sulansky from the Brain Injury Alliance of Connecticut and Rebecca MacEwen from GMMS's Athletic Department. Dr. Kaminier from UCONN Health Center will lead the adolescent brain and substance use risks discussion.
Please call to register if you will be able to attend this program. (860) 844-5355.
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